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She checked her phone. Deidre had texted back and said they were doing okay. She told Deidre about the newest pictures and let her know that she planned to lay out the truth to Hayley as soon as they were at the cabin. She encouraged Deidre to take the kids out of town for the weekend to let things blow over. She wanted them as far away from the internet as possible. If Rachel chose this weekend to drop any bombs, she was too far away to do damage control. And she was doing plenty of damage on her own out here. Hayley turned the dial on the radio and she felt a pang of guilt. She’d dragged Hayley into this. This was all her fault.
She should have told Hayley about Rory in the trailer earlier, but she knew she had to be on set in a short time. She’d told herself that she didn’t want to rush that reveal, but she knew a part of her was being a total coward. She chose to be selfish and Rachel’s video, tweets, and photo leak caught her unawares. Which was precisely what she was trying to avoid. But she let her feelings for Hayley cloud her judgment in that moment. In all the moments.
“Everything okay?” Hayley checked in before shifting in her seat a bit. She looked uncomfortable. Emerson wanted to ask why.
“Uh, yeah. Just checking in on my sister.” Emerson hadn’t planned to be so forthcoming.
Hayley nodded but kept her eyes on the road. “Is she okay?”
That was a loaded question. “She’s worried about me. That’s all.”
Hayley hummed. Emerson could tell Hayley was worried, too.
“I’m sorry about all this, Hayley.”
Hayley looked at her. “Why are you sorry?”
Emerson ran her hand through her hair and turned in her seat to face Hayley. “Because this is what I do. I manage to fuck things up by just existing. That’s what you should put in your story, Hay, that my existence in this world is a black hole that sucks in innocent bystanders. And I’m sorry.”
Hayley gave her a look. “That’s the most dramatic thing I’ve heard from you yet, and today you did a convincing job acting devastated about being dumped by a woman in a bright green full body onesie with tennis balls Velcroed to her head. So that’s saying something.”
Emerson laughed.
“Seriously, I was totally convinced she’d broken your heart.”
“Thanks.” Emerson turned back toward the window and watched the trees as they passed by. They’d been on the road for a little over two hours now and the night sky glittered with stars. There was no smog here, no pollution-clouded sky. Emerson looked up and she could see the endless forever. It was humbling.
“What’s your sister like?” Hayley’s question caught her off guard.
“Deidre? She’s steady and calm and hilarious,” Emerson replied. “She’s reliable and has always been my greatest support. She’s great. I couldn’t have asked for a better sister.”
“And she has kids? You mentioned you have a niece and nephew.”
Another pang of guilt and another complicated question. “Rory and Alex. Dee’s a great mom.”
“Are you three close?” Hayley flipped on a blinker and Emerson strained to see a path in front of them. The road was shifting from pavement to dirt, and the visibility—although the night was clear—was limited to the length of the headlights. They were off the beaten track, that was for sure.
“The four of us are. Dee’s husband Tom is pretty fantastic, too.” He was a great dad. The thought made her sad all over again. Poor Tom.
“I meant to ask you before how you started working on the Zelda Frog series. Did it have anything to do with your sister’s kids?” Hayley slowed the car as they climbed up a steep hill to the left. Emerson’s eyes were glued to the road. Hayley had put her on moose watch about an hour ago. She’d thought she was kidding. Suddenly she wasn’t so sure.
“Yes. I felt like there weren’t enough positive female role models out there for little girls. When Rory was born, I was suddenly more aware of that than ever. I felt like there needed to be some sort of character that could help teach morals through tough lessons while still remaining innocent enough to be generally accepted.” This was true. Except the thought had occurred to her during labor when she was walking through the hospital gift shop during contractions and only saw pink, frilly things for girls while boys had action figures and adventure-themed toys and clothes as gifts.
“And adorable. Because Zelda Frog is freaking too cute,” Hayley supplied.
“That she is.”
“I did a little research into the book series and show. There isn’t much out there about Rafaela Silver. How did you two get connected? Did you hear about her in your travels? She’s a mystery.” Hayley flicked on her high beams as the road they traveled on shifted to one entirely made of dirt.
“You could say we’re intimately acquainted.” Emerson mused. Hayley could be taking her off into the woods to kill her and she’d never know it. The thought amused her.
“Seriously?”
Emerson nodded. “She is I, I am she. We are one and the same.”
“Are you freaking kidding me?” Hayley gaped at her.
“I needed to distance myself from acting a bit and wanted to try my hand at some of my own storytelling. The idea for Zelda came after a rather sleepless night helping with Rory…I think I was hallucinating. It worked out for the best.” That was true. She left out the part where she was way over her head and had nearly had a breakdown in the process. If not for Deidre, she wasn’t sure either she or Rory would have made it through the night. Those were dark days in Emerson’s life. It was a miracle something good like Zelda Frog—or her relationship with her sister and Rory—had come out of it.
“I was in a creative slump and needed a change of pace. I could retreat into Zelda’s world and hide from my problems. The couple of years out of the limelight helped me heal some parts that had been broken a long time.”
“Oh, this was after you set that guy’s car on fire,” Hayley said.
“Allegedly.” Emerson gave her a small smile and looked back out the window.
“How did you settle on the pen name of Rafaela Silver?”
Emerson chuckled. “I’m named after Ralph Waldo Emerson and my last name is Sterling.”
Hayley shook her head and laughed. “I can’t believe you’ve been the Zelda Frog mastermind this whole time, and you let me believe you’d only voiced the character. You’re so…”
“I’m so what?” Emerson looked back at her.
“Incredible. And complex. And multilayered. And a—”
“Moose.”
“What? That was definitely not where I was going with that,” Hayley replied.
“No. Moose! Hayley, moose.” Emerson pointed ahead of them and Hayley slammed on the brakes, launching them both forward in their seats.
Emerson’s hand flew to her chest as she took in the sight. She had never seen such a magnificent creature in all her life. He was positively huge and standing very, very still. Which made Emerson’s already rapidly beating heart crawl up into her throat at the thought that he might charge them. Did moose charge? They should back up. Now.
But Hayley didn’t seem to share her concern. Instead, she started hysterically laughing.
“Hayley…” Emerson whispered. “Maybe we should back up.”
That only made Hayley’s laughter increase until tears rolled down her cheeks. Great. Now she was crying. They were in a crisis and Hayley was going to laugh them both into a stampede death. Perfect.
“He’s, he’s—” Hayley rubbed her eyes as she struggled to speak through hiccups. “Wood.”
“What?” Emerson was trying not to make any sudden movements, since Bullwinkle over there was staring right at them. No reason to poke the bear, er, moose.
“He’s made of wood. He’s fake. It’s a carving. My grandmother made it to designate the start of her property.” Hayley gasped for breath.
Emerson leaned forward to get a better look at the mammoth. No way. “You’re lying.”
Hayley burst into a fit of giggles
and eased the car forward. Emerson clutched at the dashboard and leaned back. Fresh tears sprang from Hayley’s eyes as the laughter started back up.
Hayley pulled closer to the moose and trained the car’s high beams on him. Emerson couldn’t believe her eyes—the moose was a fake. An enormously real looking behemoth, but a fake.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She didn’t know what to say.
Hayley let out a giggly sigh. “Emerson, meet Stan. Stan, Emerson.”
“Wow.”
“I told you, my grandma had a wicked sense of humor. This was her way of making sure tourists and would-be campers didn’t show up on her property looking to hunt or hike. She liked her privacy, and this is how she ensured she got it.” Hayley drove past Stan with a wave. “It’s not nearly as impressive in the daylight. Stan was her first real woodcarving endeavor. He was a learning trial.”
“She did that with a knife?” Emerson spun in her seat to watch Stan as they drove away, part of her still unbelieving.
“Stan? Oh God. That would have taken years.” Hayley shook her head. “No, no. She used a chainsaw. And a hatchet.”
Well, that was unexpected. Emerson shook her head in awe. “Wow. Just, wow.”
“I told you, she was quite the character.” Hayley pointed through the glass. “And we’re here.”
Emerson followed the path of her finger and saw a dimly lit, beautiful single-story log cabin at the end of the muddy gravel driveway. Hayley pulled up in front of the old wraparound porch and parked to the right of the front steps. A motion-sensor light over the detached garage to their left shone brightly and Emerson shielded her eyes.
“Home sweet home.” Hayley was out of the car before Emerson had a chance to blink out the circles of light in her eyes.
When she could see again, she saw Hayley twirling on the front porch. She looked angelic.
Hayley bounded back down the stairs and pulled open her car door. She tugged her out and gestured to the house in front of them. “This house, this yard, this place…this is where the best memories of my life took place. I know it’s not much, but—”
“It’s perfect.” Hayley’s smile was contagious. Even after the long day of shooting and the invasion of privacy and the unexpected road trip, Emerson felt surprisingly relaxed and happy. Hayley had a way of making her feel better about everything. This was no different. Hayley was happy to be here. Emerson was happy, too.
“I just need a second to grab the spare key out back. I’ll help you unpack the car in a few.” Hayley didn’t wait for an answer. She disappeared around the side of the house into the darkness beyond.
Emerson could hear lapping water nearby. She assumed this was the lake Hayley had told her about. The air smelled clean and crisp. It was cool out here—not cold, but cool enough that you would want a sweater. Her skin had thinned in her years of LA living. Location shoots in colder climates always chilled her to the bone. But this wasn’t uncomfortably cool, more of an awakening coolness. She felt alive.
She looked up at the clear night sky and marveled at the speckles of light above her. Thousands of stars shone and blinked, the sky uninhibited by buildings or monuments here. Only treetops stood between her and the heavens.
“It’s unlike anything you’ve ever seen, right?” Hayley’s voice was soft and reverent. “I’ve traveled a lot in my lifetime, but I’ve never found a sky like this. Not quite like this. Not as peaceful, or as—”
“Endless.” Emerson completed Hayley’s sentence. The sky seemed endless. They were such a small, insignificant part to this world when you saw the vastness above you. It was humbling. Emerson shivered, and Hayley ran her hand along her arm.
“Come inside. I’ll start a fire to warm you up.” Hayley extended her hand toward Emerson and she took it.
Hayley led them up the front steps to the large wooden door. Emerson peeked through the stained-glass window of the door and tried to catch a glimpse of what was inside. She didn’t have to wait long. Hayley put a key into the lock and the door groaned in brief protest before opening with a push.
Hayley flicked on a switch and flooded the room with light. She walked through the living room area to the kitchen and turned lights on as she went. The cabin was more spacious than it appeared outside. The furniture was plush and comfortable looking with heavy wooden frames. The couch was facing a fireplace with a mantel made of ornately carved wood. Two overstuffed sitting chairs flanked the couch and a warm but worn looking rug connected the three pieces with a sturdy wooden coffee table anchoring it down. The exposed brick of the chimney was aged and beautiful. The contrast of light and dark woods in this room was lovely. Emerson was excited to see how it looked in the daylight. She wandered into the open concept kitchen area and stepped up to the sink. Through the large bay window over the counter she could see glinting light in the darkness. The lake. It was only a stone’s throw from where she stood.
“The sunrise on the lake is incredible. You’re in for a treat tomorrow morning.” Hayley dropped the small grocery bag they’d picked up on the ride here on the counter and unpacked the fruit and salads. She’d had the forethought to stop and grab some food. Emerson was grateful. She hadn’t realized she was hungry until now.
“This place is way bigger than I was expecting.” Emerson leaned against the sink and watched Hayley settle in.
“Yeah, I hear that a lot. People assume that since it’s one story it’s some tiny shoebox inside, but the house is a decent length. And truthfully, you end up spending most of your time on the back deck by the lake. The indoor living space is irrelevant most of the time.”
Hayley fiddled with the fireplace and grabbed some wood from behind the front door that Emerson hadn’t noticed was there. She poked at something in the base of the fireplace and starting shoving paper and small logs into the metal rack thingy. Hayley struck a match and dropped it onto the woodpile, which simmered and crackled as the flames grew. It occurred to Emerson that she couldn’t recall ever seeing someone start a fire in a fireplace. Most of her fire exposure was of the pit variety or inset gas type.
“Do you get to come here often?” Emerson kept her eyes on the flames. The flickering orange and yellow drew her in. The room warmed quickly, another thing she was grateful for.
“No.” Hayley stood back and admired her handiwork; the flames were bold and vibrant. She added a few larger logs, placed the safety grate in front of the fireplace, and walked back toward the kitchen. “I wish I did, but Maine is about as far from LA as you can get.”
“Good,” Emerson mumbled.
Hayley gave her a soft frown. “Do you want to talk about earlier? The pictures?”
“Maybe later.” Emerson shrugged. “Or never.” She accepted the water bottle Hayley handed her and opened it. “Someone must be here often to keep everything up and running, though, right? It’s way too clean and dust-free to be idle for a long time.”
“We rent the cabin out for a majority of the year. The family only uses it for summers and some select weeks here or there. But as my cousins, aunts, and uncles have grown older and moved away, fewer and fewer of them show interest in coming back here. It’s mostly just my parents and my brother that use it. I stay here for a few weeks at the end of the summer if I can.” She tapped her bottle to Emerson’s in a celebratory cheer. “We happened to catch it on a free weekend—that was lucky.”
Hayley pulled out plates from the white-faced wood cabinets above the sink and went to wash and cut the fruit. Emerson unpacked the rest of the bag’s contents onto the large butcher’s block countertop of the island. She traced her fingers along the grain of the wood. It was smooth and silky.
Hayley folded a few paper towels in half and placed forks on them. “We’ve kept as much of the original charm as possible, but there have been some improvements. The original kitchen was a galley type with tiny windows, and it faced the woodshed. My parents updated the layout to allow for better flow and give it an open, entertaining feel. I think they di
d a good job keeping the rustic charm of the house while pairing it with some modern conveniences.”
She tapped the counter. “This is my favorite part of the house, though. This is from a tree that used to be on the edge of the property. Over the years it started to sag and wither from the harsh storms. My grandmother had it taken down for our safety, since it was in the primo hide-and-go-seek part of her property. She salvaged as much wood as possible and this piece was her dining room table for a long time. As the house changed and the needs of the renters and our family changed, it became the center of the kitchen. The heart of the house. I love it.”
“It’s beautiful.” Emerson was looking at Hayley and talking about the counter. But about Hayley, too. She was glowing here. It was like this place breathed new life into her.
“Thank you.” Hayley looked at her and she thought that maybe, just maybe, she knew that Emerson meant that about her as well. She should tell her that she was beautiful. Because she was. Hayley handed her a plate with salad. “Hungry?”
“Famished.” Emerson followed her to the couch and sat next to her. She pulled her legs onto the plush cushions, tucking them beneath herself.
Hayley placed the plate of fruit on the coffee table in front of them and grabbed a small throw blanket off the armchair to her right. “Here.” She handed it to Emerson. “The fire will get the room pretty hot eventually, but there’s no reason to be uncomfortable while you wait.”
Emerson draped it over her shoulders and looked at Hayley.
Hayley stopped midchew. “What? Is there something on my face?”
Emerson laughed and took a bite of salad. “No. I was just thinking about something.”
Hayley looked relieved and continued eating. “Anything specific?”